Where is this opinion coming from?

You know when you think you know someone only to find out new and exciting things about them you never knew existed? Well... apparently Joe, my fiance, has a very large opinion on everything wedding. This took me by great surprise because in general in life, he's pretty laid back. He doesn't seem to really care about a lot of things. When he moved into my apartment a while back he came sans anything but his clothing and his dog River.

So here we go with the wedding planning. You know, the thing that ever girl begins when she's 7, dressing up in bedsheets with her best friends, singing "here comes the bride" while walking deliberately one foot at a time down an aisle of her most coveted stuffed animals? Yea, all that jazz. So when I got engaged I already had ideas spinning in my head. Already had things thought about, ideas pieced together, torn apart, redone. I didn't think that I would have much contention from the peanut gallery (read, the better half), but oh have I so far!!!

I thought that it would be nice to involve him, or at least ask if he wanted to be involved in the planning of things. I had talked to many of our friends and they had said that they (the girls) had planning the wedding and their husbands had merely shown up. That was even what my own father said he did at his wedding. So I thought I would ask Joe if he wanted to know what was going on, knowing him well and knowing that he's mostly complacent to things and would be a good perosn to be there for support. But it seems to be the completely opposite. I feel like I'm dealing with the ultimate Czar with his thumb in the air either pointing up in approval or down in rejection. I'm finding this exhausting and its all coming to a head really. Maybe we can find a middle ground? Maybe he can find something to own that I don't take quite as much stock in... like the entertainment, or the favors? But so far I feel like the input on the venue (this is as far as we've gotten) is quite elaborate and specific for the amount of work that we have respectively put in.

I really thought, after talking to many ex-bride to be's out there that this was something that the girl did... something that was put together by the bride, and driven by that msotly, but that is not turning out to be the case in my arena. Not by a long shot.

I'm sure there will be more to come later. Maybe he'll get tired of wedding planning and turn back to video games. Leave me to the girlie stuff like its supposed to be!

Wedding Crib Sheet

Because I have to put my wedding planning on hold for a while... here's what I've come across as a few do's and don't and funny little quips that I thought others could benefit from:

Wedding Guest Don’ts:

1. Lighten up a bit—don’t wear a dark suit or dress unless it’s after 6pm
2. You’re not trying to play the virgin, so don’t wear white (save it for the bride)
3. Unless the venue is a club in South Beach, don’t dress too sexy—unless you like being “that guest” I use to have a friend who would try to make wedding these social "look at me" events. Girls... its not ABOUT you, and thats tacky. Don't be that girl.
4. Don’t wear high heels to a wedding on the beach—you’ll look sunken, not fabulous. Get wedges if you must.
5. If for some crazy, closed-head-injury reason you’re thinking about it, don’t wear jeans (ever)
6. Unless it’s a “black tie” affair, don’t be a douche and wear a tuxedo
7. It’s written on the envelope for a reason—don’t invite a date unless it specifically says “and Guest”. People are poor... be kind.
8. Brides have a sixth sense, so don’t get to the ceremony late because they will know…and hate you. And if you are late... feel really really bad.
9. Open bar isn’t a hall pass to get completely polluted—don’t be remembered for overserving yourself

Not to be left out... there are also some tips for those great Brides and Grooms...

Bride & Groom Don’ts:

1. Nothing’s ever perfect—don’t have unrealistic expectations
2. It makes for a great story later, so don’t freak if your friend gets drunk and hits on your mom
3. Attack of the clones—don’t make bridesmaids wear identical dresses and hairstyles
4. A lot goes a little way, so don’t blow your budget on things your guests won’t remember
5. Here comes the broke!—don’t spend the vast majority of your budget on your gown and shoes
6. Remember work/life balance, and don’t invite co-workers (they don’t want to go anyway)
7. Make um’ work for it—don’t put registry information on your wedding invitations

Note that “Don’t get a background check” and “Don’t sign a prenup” didn’t make the list.

What if you're like me and poor as dirt and you want to make a budget wedding fabulous?

• Do it at home, if possible
• Only invite those who are really important to you—each guest is money out of pocket.
• Order your invitations online—you can get really high-end invitations very inexpensively
• Don’t scrimp on the photographer. The pictures will last forever, so you want to use a good one.
• Make sure you budget enough money. Tying to get everything in a $100,000.00 wedding for $10,000.00. This waters down the event, and it doesn’t come off very well. If your budget is limited, do something that is best for your budget.

... and don't make anyone do the chicken dance!!

Tasting... yum...

The tasting started at two and boy... by then was I starving. I hadn't eaten anything all day in preparation for all of the food we were about to eat, to my detriment! Joe and I sat down at the nice linen table that Christina set up for us and I pulled out my "wedding binder" so I could keep track of the food and what we ate and what we liked. I find that if I don't' stay organized I forget things. Christina promptly poked fun at me, but hey, it works for me. So then... onto the food. Which of course, I took photos of:

First up: the Chicken Roulade



This was the first thing we decided to eat. It was beautifully presented and had a lot of color to it, so I liked it. It consisted of Chicken breast wrapped in panko bread crumbs with sun-dried tomatoes, spinach and brie cheese. I admit that I didn't tell Joe about the cheese because I knew he didn't like it... my little secret. There was wild rice with some tomatoes in it and then a mixed fresh veggie. Oh... and some crazy sauce that was good. All in all we liked this one. The breadcrumbs were nice and crunchy. As predicted, Joe noticed that there was something in the chicken that he couldn't put his finger on that he didn't like, which I of course loved. And the rice was a winner. So this one was a good mix-- presented well, tasted good, just possibly needed a little tweaking.

Next up: Roast Chicken



I'm just going to say it... we hated this one. It looks pretty yes. It was very bright and pretty. It was roast chicken and it was squishy. The actual chicken was tasty, but with the skin on there was too much fat included. The sauce was the killer: saffron sauce. Too much saffron for the two of us really. And the orzo that was too bland. For us, the flavors just weren't meshing and this one just lost to the other food. So we moved onto something tastier...

The final plate: Pork Chop



This was presented very nicely. Though you can't smell it, it came out very nicely smelling wonderfully. The meal was a 10oz Center Cut Pork Chop served with cranberry and apple compote with whipped potatoes, green beans and a veal demi-glaze. So of course, instantly I didn't want the veal demi-glaze and was slightly put off because Christina told me it was going to be a red wine demi-glaze. I REALLY wanted to not eat it because of what it was, but I didn't want to be that high maintenance, so I did. But if we choose this, the veal glaze will be nixed. The pork was properly cooked and moist and the bone was easily navigated. The apple compote made for a nice surprise on top, the sweetness mingled nicely, though Joe commented that he didn't like the cranberries making it a bit tart. The mashed potatoes were just that, and I would guess we would change over to ones with mashed with skins included, but stay with mashed and not rice for this one, but very good. The veggies on this one was just green beans, which were very fresh and might be a good sole option as well.

All in all, we both loved the food and think that its a great option. The price point seems to be one that we can work with well and I find the venue to be one that is rare that no one really ever uses. They only do about two weddings a year and never advertise that they do weddings. Just speaking of food, this one is a very good option and would do very well with guests.

Dunham Woods

Going here today for a tasting. I'm super excited! I'll bring along my camera and notebook and take some notes as to what we think about the food. This is the first time that Joe is going to this venue and I really really really hope that he likes it. I've been there a few times and I know that I like it and their organizer, Christina is a wonderful person who has already been more than helpful.
Its really a beautiful place! More photos to come, and hopefully some good return info on the food! I'll be so excited if I can secure an awesome venue this early. I feel like it'll make me feel a lot better knowing that I have to stop planning for a lot time while I'm studying for the stinky bar.