Bar Study Review Thus Far: Kaplan SUCKS

I know some people stumble upon this blog looking for some insight on how Kaplan is vs. Barbri... so I can give you what I've got so far... I HATE IT. Maybe its because I feel like the rep they have running it gives me a feeling like she lied to me to get me to pick this course and now is sliding in all of these other things that I swear weren't there before like "oh there will be some Saturdays" have turned into every single Saturday except two. And the fact that when I ask questions about this discrepancy I get an answer of "I don't like whiners." Whatever though, thats a personality thing, not something to do with the program.

As far as the program so far: Our syllabus is all fucked up. There are phantom things there in our "personalized" syllabi that shouldn't be there that they have recognized but haven't removed. This causes the days to remain unchecked... and for an anal retentive person like me... drives me utterly insane and causes me to recheck things thinking that I'm consonantly missing things. So thats annoying and not getting fixed apparently and is all over the syllabus which is supposed to be "personalized."

Another thing... that really gets to me... is today I went to take our first graded essay. At this time we've studied TWO subjects: Torts and Contracts. So I open up the file to look to see what I have to type to actually send in to be graded and what is the subject?? OHHHHH Agency. AGENCY?! Thats not even a core subject!!! I've never taken Agency!!! Sure, I should have taken it, but I didn't because I thought I would be taught it by my bar class that I paid through the nose for. So what, now they are deciding to test me on a subject that I've never ever even attempted to take and that isn't required... for my first EVER attempt to turn an essay into them. WONDERFUL.

FAIL.

There are positives about the program... I just don't feel like listing them right now. At this point I feel like my friends are happier taking the BarBri course than I am stuck in the Kaplan course. Take it for what it's worth.

Bar Study

This is how I felt today, but sans window. I've been studying for the Illinois Bar for about a solid week now and I've just had my official first panic attack. I think it was a combination of sucking at torts, the easiest subject there is, and having all of this work piled on top of me. That and being in a room with no windows where the doors are pulled closed and the lights are off, it just got to me and I had to get outside. Not fun. I felt like I couldn't focus and I couldn't think for myself. Case in point: Joe asked me if we needed anything for the house and I couldn't come up with "paper towels" but instead said "kitchen papers." That's what happens when I freak out, its like my brain short circuits. I felt a tightness in my chest and I wanted to sleep or run a marathon.

I know in writing this I'm probably committing the cardinal sin in showing how utterly scary and stressful all of this really is, but I'm thinking maybe other fellow bar studiers out there will stumble upon this and feel a sense of comfort that maybe they aren't freaking out as much as I am, or if they are, that they are not alone.

It took me a good 4 hours to pull myself together. I know I can't do that all the time... but I needed it this time. I tired about 7 things before I found the right cocktail of methods to slow my mind, heartbeat and stomach (I started throwing up to boot, no pun intended) and went off back into my lair to study.

Once I got back upstairs into the world that is piled too high with matching Kaplan books, I got right back to business and pounded out what I needed to do, and did decently well on what I needed to and really only have one thing left for tonight that I want to do before retiring, which isn't too bad considering my derailment and that its 7:30pm.

But yes... I panicked, HARD. And yes, it was ugly and I'm glad that I was at home alone for the majority of it losing my mind like the little lost puppy that I am. Hopefully I've gained some coping skills from it, and I don't come out of this with any more insane habits.

I much rather...

be at this bar than getting ready to study for the Illinois Bar... ug.

Bye bye summer... we could have been good friends. I will now proceed to lose my mind (and hopefully a few more pounds.)

Bar Study/Workout

I'm determined to not only pass the Illinois Bar this summer, but to also look good doing it. I'm starting my study course in earnest on Thursday and tha'ts when I'll start my workout schedule as well. I'm doing the workout so I don't waste away into a fat blob from sitting around studying so much, and also because I'm planning on getting married in about a year and I need to start to think about getting in shape from all these Law School years of neglect.

When I look at photos of myself from my first year of Law School and now, there is a HUGE difference, HUGE. I think that needs to be rectified and shouldn't be too difficult with a good schedule. I'm going to include biking, riding the horse and going to the gym (of which a membership I still need to get, whoops.) I still have 24 hours to get it together, right? We all know I'm a better procrastinator than I am anything else anyway.

I'll start by getting up off of the computer now and getting to a few chores that were put off in the house over the long graduation weekend.